I’m Lonely: (I’m Out—pt 3)

March 12, 2007

Is it possible to be contently single when everything around seems to scream “Find someone!”? Almost everywhere you turn, there are things marketed toward either couples, or suggesting that hooking up is the goal; many colleges around sport unofficial slogans to the effect that one goes there to get their future spouse; and, the goal of virtually every fairy-tale is that Prince Charming questing to find his “beauty” whoever and wherever she is. Is it possible to escape or effectively ignore all this non-sense.

Just now, in another tab of my browser, I have an ad blaring to me “Girlfriend season is here.” Maybe this is what has plagued me during every spring for most of what I can remember. After all, late winter though summer vacation is “girlfriend season” in my mind. That is the school-year hookup time “so couples can get together just in time to look forward to a summer apart vacation” irony (since it usually ends in breakups via long-distance), but with this, and virtually all forms of media blaring this message comes the realization that only once during this time of year did I have a girl-friend.

I am not going to back on my statement/resolution to wait for God and staying “out” of the scene (that I stated in pt 1 of this set). I have had my experience with looking at the “smaller signs” and it ended up not working out, and so this time I am going to stick to my original plan.

Some days/nights/weekends are harder than others, and I know that’s a fact of life.

At any rate, this is just a stream of thought.  It hasn’t fully been thought through, and I am not sure when or if it will ever be.  Thanks for reading.




  1. I hear ya. If I am staying busy it never seems to be an issue, being happy and single that is. But as soon as I get some free time or head out socially at all, its hard to ignore the expectation to pair off. To me its just a fact of life, greener on the other side of the fence and all. It would be nice if I could just take in girlfriend applications and wait for the right one to apply. ah, dreams.

  2. Hey Jak,

    Great idea. I am now accepting girl-friend applications. Do know that while I look forward to your response, I can and will only choose one from the available applicants. If this one is not you, please don’t loose all hope, because I still have numerous friend positions available.

    In order to qualify, you must love God and be a Christian, be attractive to me (which is not necessarily physical beauty), have some of the same interests as I do, compliment my personality, be willing to work with me and my oddities/quirks, and understand that I don’t date to date. I only date people I can see myself marrying.

    Don’t be offended if you are not immediately accepted to girlfriend status. Be ok with being friends. I value friendship and connection above the shallow physical side of a relationship, and I will ultimately marry someone who is a friend who I want to live the rest of my life with.

    To apply leave a message here, or talk to me in person. You could also add me as a myspace friend (or message me with something not cheezy spam sounding and I’ll add you).

    Looking forward to meeting you online or in person.


  3. Hey There, Cam:

    Well, I see what you’re saying here, but maybe what I have to say might help…

    I’ve come to realize that this single time in my life is once in a lifetime, and that I should really enjoy every moment! It was hard for a little while because it seemed all my best girlfriends were getting married and I was falling behind! But I’m not…my life is just not their life. I’m going to vet school, for goodness’ sake, and right now, had I been “tied down,” I would probably be going crazy, because I’m going crazy as it is and can barely keep my head on straight! I know God will have someone for me someday, but right now I’m having so much fun just living each day as it comes, seeing friends and meeting new people, and dating here and there. I’ll never have this time again…and it’s just where I need to be right now. A friend commented to me recently that “if I had spent less time being miserable because I was single, I would have had so much more fun!” And she’s now very happily married, of course!

    And maybe where you’re at in life is not the time for you to be with someone, either. Only God knows for sure, of course, but I know that you’ve been doing quite a bit of introspective observation lately, and maybe all that must be done with first. In any case, God’s timing is best for each of us, and the fact that some meet their marriage partner sooner than others shouldn’t matter at all…some don’t reach their career as soon as others, either. We’re all just different! I’m glad I’m realizing that more and more now.

    I guess the bottom line is…God knows His timing, and that it is perfect, even though we don’t. So I suppose we just need to enjoy every moment as it comes, and leave the rest to Him! 🙂

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